Balloons of Expectation

Please stop wanting, wishing and hoping for things that you know cannot and will not come true. Hope is such a fragile thing, yet it has the endurance to keep you holding your breath for days and days. I do not want the inevitable disappointment that comes with breathing in. I never start it. They always entice me with things too real to be resisted, and then back away. I take the small reality and turn it  into a colossal dream that no man could ever hope to support on his shoulders, no matter how broad. But I hold on to it, by the thin strings that I attach to all of these gigantic balloons of possibility. I am left with a hand full of strings and a sky clouded over with voluminous dreams and expectations that shroud my ability to enjoy the reality. Nothing can live up to my hopes. Nothing can measure up to my reality. Yes, have standards. Yes, have ideals. But don’t think you can have your cake and eat it too.

Confused (As Usual)

I'm really not sure what to think. I'm so tired of clinging to some carefully chosen beliefs only to be disappointed by them in the end. And yet we all must believe something, even if that belief is that there is nothing to be believed. Maybe I just don't need to know. Yet can you explain that feeling of finally finding a small piece of what your heart has been searching for with any other explanation than that there is truth? There are so many complexities to believing.