Love

If I have learned anything, it is that

Love is not what they say it is.

It is not what I have been told or shown and I have been lied to.

Whether it an outright deception or a case of omission, I cannot tell.

For the love that I have known has, in brief and rare instances, vaguely resembled that in movies, songs and fairytales,

And yet there is so much never seen, sung or written of

That no one ever warned me about.

Cross My Heart and Hope to Find

Okay. I wanna talk about a song called I Cross My Heart. It got me thinking overtime and even inspired the poem below.

The song is somewhat sweet, and yet there is something terribly sad about it.

The gist in Anna language and how the song, the poem and your life in general connects is as follows: The song tells a story about this couple who just so happen to into his old girlfriend. Basically, it's about him reassuring her that the ex is just that. An ex. Over. Nothing to him anymore. Sweet, right? Major "Aww..." moment for the ladies.

Not quite. It's cute, yet it speaks of an old romance, one that completely captivated the man... for a while. He thought it was love. Then seemly out of no where, what happens? Oops, turns out she wasn't the one and he was really waiting for Girl B all along.

Ouch. It's sad and horrifying to me. He thought it was love. Was he ignoring certain signs or incompatibilities? Deep down, did he know it wasn't meant to be? Or is it really just that risky? Like you could think you loved someone, but at any moment, if you made the wrong move, you could blow up what seemed like destiny?

On that train of thought, I wrote this poem:

So beautiful it makes me sad
Stirs a memory I never had
Threatening fragile hope I fear
Will shatter like a fallen tear
Sneering, asking who am I
To dare forget that love can die?

There's proof everywhere. Divorce, miserable relationships, people falling in and out of love practically at random.

Why?

Was this always the way it was, but social standards prevented the "take and throw away" nature of our current relationships? You "had" to stay with your spouse or be a literal outcast? Did making it common and "okay" cause it or simply unveil it? Seems like even a wedding band means almost nothing to us anymore.

Or is love in the fairy tales even real? I don't think people like me are capable of loving or being loved like that. I'm not perfect like the fairytale princes and princesses and I doubt I would be attracted to someone who was. I don't connect with people so easily, I don't trust people so quickly, I don't "follow my heart" blindly and expect to end up hitched to Superman. Or is that all supposed to change as soon as Prince Charming tap dances his way into my life?

If it's truly love... can it die? Or is the true love thing what makes or breaks a relationship?

Today Was A Fairytale

Today was a fairytale, I wore a dress...

It's one of those magical days between Summer and Fall where the change is in the air, but it hasn't quite happened and it isn't quite there.

It was one of those quaint days where you feel like wearing a dress or a skirt. Where nothing else would feel quite right- pant legs are more of a bother and a burden than anything else.

It was one of those lazy days where you really don't feel like doing anything with your hair. So you don't. You live and let live and avoid mirrors. When you do happen to pass one, you just smile indulgently at the mussed and carefree reflection... live and let live.

Can you feel this magic in the air...

It was one of those breezy days where the wind is alive. It plays with your hair and teases your skirt, lifting them ever so slightly before dropping them back and fluttering them like flags on the pole of your body. Where the trees whisper and the cornfields rustles softly, gently, happily. All borrowing life from the wind.

It was one of those gentle days where the sun is warm, not hot. Bright, not blinding. The shade is cool and it's warm out in the open. Laying out in it, lifting your face to it, soaking up the warmth that will fade in a few months. Letting it seep all though me and embrace me. Deep in my bones and deep in my heart.

It was one of those days where you did some singing out loud, in you head and in your heart. You hum love songs and think about someone somewhere. It's happy and sad, painful and wonderful all at once. It makes you smile, but it brings a tear to your eye.

Time slows down...

It was one of those days where it wasn't quite good, but it wasn't too bad. Everything was alright, though. Steady and simple like the beating of your heart. It was a day to be alive.

Today was a fairytale.