Reasons I Hate This Time of Year

1. Holidays. Why are they all in the winter? Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentines Day, St. Patrick's Day... it's just too much. I've expressed my rather dire feelings about holidays in general before, so it should come as no surprise that I feel clusters of them are uncalled for. Lucky, the worst is already behind us.

2. Forms. FAFSA, W-4, W-2, Taxes... federal shenanaganizing. Askeroscarooscarfug. (Congrats if you came up with some way to pronounce that.)

3. Snow. *sighs* Alright. I confess. I hate snow, but not really. It's complicated. Just when I think it's bearable and maybe even kind of pretty, it proves me wrong and gets in my boot or tries to trip me up or just generally interferes with the delicate task of living my life.

4. Darkness. I like the dark. It's fine. But the long dark mornings and nights make me want to sleep in and go to bed earlier, and me wanting to go to bed at 5 P.M. is rather annoying and counter-productive.

5. Cold. I loathe being cold. More than being hot, more than being sweaty, more than losing a toe to a shark. Okay, maybe not the last one. Being cold makes me feel like I'm about 100 years old and lacking the appropriate medication for my various conditions that are causing me this aching pain. Dire? Yes. They aren't your joints, so deal with it. (For the record, if they are your joints too, I express my sincerest sympathy and the offer to get together to have a warm beverage and discuss our unnamed condition.)

I know I complain rather a lot. I guess it's because it's the one thing I can do about the things I can do nothing about. And for some reason, complaining about things in a vaguely amusing thing somehow helps me to feel better about them. Go figure, eh?

Ten Ways You Know Christmas is Coming

1) Snow. Dang it. I hate it! I wish it would snow on Christmas Eve and melt the day after Christmas. The rest of the time it can just be cold... Never mind. No snow, no cold. We can just install one of those snow machines in the sky so we get the same thrill of a Winter Wonderland without freezing to death, slipping and breaking bones and having to dig the car out of a 20 foot drift. God bless those of you who live down south. One Midwestern girl is infinitely jealous.

2) Stores. They seem to think Christmas starts in October and ends Christmas day. There are confused people in marketing. It's so long and aggressive it burns me out. You know how bad it's gotten? They made the Charlie Brown tree. You know, the cartoon? Charlie hates Christmas because he's a general misanthrope and because he feels it's overcommercialized. So in beautiful irony, he decorates this pathetic little tree and in breaking free from societies false representation of the "meaning of Christmas", he experiences true joy. Yippee, right? Well now they sell little copies of that tree. Little awful models that slander everything it stood for. Yes, I'm ranting. I was appalled.

3) Presents. "What do you want?" Oh how I loathe that question. I really don't want anything you can give me. I may like some stupid little thing or other, but want is not the right word. When I think want I think about people who have real wants. Needs. I want chocolate. Someone on the other side of the world WANTS clean water. He wants what he needs. No one should have to want that. Again, I'm ranting. Being an idealist. Spank me for wanting good to an unrealistic degree. Slightly better is gift giving. Yet this also finds a way to be difficult. I feel self imposed pressure to find the perfect thing for everyone. And when this thing does not appear, I lose the joy part in the "joy of giving". What needs to change there, I wonder? Lower standards? Am adjustment of perspective? (Stop giving gifts? Just kidding.)

4) Decorations. From trees to lights, wreaths and ornaments, garlands and the like, the world is decked out (inside and out) like no other this time of year. Tastefully done, I'm fine with it. I even kind of like it. Sparkly... who could complain? But tacky, overdone decor is truly horrid in red, green and flashy. It's always horrid, but for some reason, Christmas colors make it even worse.

5) Music. Oh I love music. And Christmas music, like most music, can be done one of two ways: well or not well. If you insist upon writing your own Christmas song, please, for heaven's sake, don't be cheesy about it. If you're just going to recycle phrases we've all heard a hundred times, over strain your vocal chords trying to croon or put it to a generally awful tune, do us a favor and skip it. And please note that the classics are called classics for a reason. You don't have to reinvent them.

6) Food. Cookies! I may have mentioned how I feel about cookies. There are loads of goodies this time of year to make the holidays worthwhi... I mean bright. The traditions revolving around food are perhaps my favorite. What can I say? I have a whole mouth of sweet teeth.

7) Family. Those relatives you never hear from any other time of the year send you a Christmas card updating you on their oh-so important (and until now, highly mysterious) lives. The family hash's out who all is coming and going where. People descend on the home of the poor host laden with gifts, food and more people. You're glad to have them... for a while. But few have enough patience to put up with their in laws for more than a few days.

8) Your Stress Level. Sky rocketing! And you thought fireworks were only for the 4th of July! To do lists, gift lists, a calender full of holiday related activities and people, places and things all demanding your attention! Exhilarating, isn't it? Until of course, you really do make like a firework and burn out.

9) Your House. This is the humble abode where all this Christmas cheer; the sounds, smells, sights and tastes of the holiday all collide into something best described as... chaos! Even if you aren't spending the actual holiday in your home, chances are you will be going to someone elses home where this takes place. Funny thing about the chaos is that it can also feel kind of cozy.

10) Your Heart. Whether your Christmas spirit quota is reminiscent of a burned out Christmas light (like mine) or a the whole dang tree, this is the place Christmas truly is. You can have the right music, the most tastefully done decor and all the perfect presents and be stressed and miserable. You can also have a wonderful Christmas without any of these things. Christmas is a holiday of the heart.

I hope you have a merry one.

Of Chipping Paint and Left Overs

My ten day wear nail polish is chipping on the fourth day. Does that mean it has failed? I suppose there will be some paint on them in six days, though there will be even more chips.

Oh, the pretty, empty promises of packaging.

I've eaten Thanksgiving leftovers for three meals since Thanksgiving dinner. Each time they taste a little blander, colder and staler. They are aging, quickly and surely.

Oh, the sad short life of cranberry sauce.

It is still Fall according to the calender, but the temperature tells me it's Winter. Fall is dying in Winters birth.

Oh, the sad in between of seasons.

Now that Thanksgiving has past, the focus seems to have shifted to Christmas in full force. I don't know if I'm ready yet. I still have Thanksgiving leftovers.

Everything feels finished yet incomplete. I painted my nails for Tuesday, yet the remain imperfectly on Saturday. Thanksgiving has past, but traces of it's taste linger. For how long, I wonder? Christmas is coming in less than a month. Less than a month! Can you believe it?

Black Friday I went on Amazon and bought a bunch of Christmas presents. That was relieving. I love to give gifts, but only if I like them. If I feel I could not find the right gift or got the wrong gift for some reason, my joy is gone. It's a stressful thing, this perfection.

Holidays are hard. They demand so much of it. People take time off of work to celebrate, but I think celebrating has become even more draining.

Does it refresh you to break out of normalcy? In a way it refreshes me but I also feel as though nothing is normal. Some things can be done over and over on the same days, but nothing is ever really the same. Nothing.

Every day, every moment is a beginning and an end. Where did the beginnings begin and where is the end of endings?

Or is life truly that much of a circle?

Thanksgiving Eve

There's a stack of half finished posts sitting in the inner recesses of this blog. I keep on starting to post, getting sidetracked and starting a new post the next day with renewed vigor.

You would think that after about a week of this I would get enough vigor to get the job done.

On this (freezing cold) Thanksgiving Eve, there is a frenzy of house cleaning, pie baking and preparing going on around here. I suppose that is what holidays have come to mean to me in general- more to do.

But I do love Thanksgiving. Firstly because of the food and secondly because of the meaning. Yeah, my priorities could use some adjusting. I love that Thanksgiving has remained somewhat untouched by commericalization. <-- Made that word up. Deal with it.

It's still about getting together with the people you love and sharing time and food.

It's still about being thankful for what you have, no matter what you don't have.

My grandparents should be arriving soon. I'm glad they can be here for the next few days.

I hope ya'll have a very happy Thanksgiving and that you slow down to remember what matters the most and be grateful for it.

And if those things are people... let them know you appreciate them, not only today, but all the time.  <3

National Girlfriends Day

I don't know about you, but I love strange and obscure holidays nobody really knows or cares about. Mainly because I loathe cliche expectations. Don't get me wrong, tradition is a lovely thing. What is Christmas without a tree, Thanksgiving with no stuffing? In my world, those are dependable traditions. Every year they appear without fail, lest my secure little world crumble to ashes.

And yet, there is something fun about a holiday like National Jelly Bean day or Put a Zucchini on Your Neighbors Porch Night (I kid you not. Look it up. What else is Google for?). It's just delightfully and arrogantly childish to celebrate such a thing. Probably why I like it.

Thus, I give you a post for a 'holiday' of sorts. National Girlfriends Day. Not quite as fun as Ninja Day, but it does give me a chance to ramble (and how I love such opportunities).

Girlfriends. Those friends of ours who are, in fact, girls and not guys. A truer, prettier friend you would be hard pressed to meet.

Below are my classic examples of a true girlfriend.

Someone who will:

1. Paint your toenails and not get upset when you get more polish on her toe than on her actual nail.

2. Tactfully convince you NOT to get that orange top that just looks plain awful on you, without saying you look like a pumpkin.

3. Call you up for no reason at all and talk to you about nothing of much importance for at least 45 minutes.

4. Support you in, give her two cents worth about and be available for consultations about your love life 24/7.

5. Know what you are really trying to say even though you just sort of kind of said it, or just gave her a look.

6. Faithfully loathe the jerk who broke up with you/you broke up/cheated on you/broke your heart/said the wrong thing at the wrong time for all eternity.

7. Share her stuff with you and goodnaturedly steal something of equal or lesser value when you never return it, give it to your kid cousin or sell it in your family's yard sale.

8. Know your phone number, e-mail address, favorite color, candy, song and the guy you currently have a crush on like the back of her hand.

9. Feel comfortable yelling at your siblings and call your Mom "Mom".

10. Share her chocolate.

Feel free to add to my list. I am sure I have forgotten something. I do dearly love lists.

So Happy National Girlfriends Day, ladies.

You go, girls. :)