Showing posts with label diet coke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label diet coke. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Anna's Top Ten Ultimate Weaknesses

Reveling one's weaknesses is a practice to be generally discouraged for several reasons...

A) You are a superhero and reveling your weakness could result in your crushing defeat and demise, or

B) Your family reads your blog and can and will use this against you.

I, however, have decided to flaunt my humanity, risk my superhero identity and offer my family and excellent reference for all kinds of pay back and share with you my top 10 weaknesses.

1. Cake / Cookies / Chocolate

The jury is still out on which one weakens me most. All have a ridiculous amount of calories , start with the letter C, and I can't stop eating them.

2. Shiny objects.

If I were an animal, I would have to be a deer. Headlights are so shiny. I also stop and stare at jewelry displays and tilt spoons to that they catch the light.

3. Pretty things.

I'm a girl. I can't help that I like pretty. Shiny, pretty? They go together. But if it's pretty and shiny, it's just even better and cannot be denied.

4. Clothing Sales.

A perfect excuse to go shopping AND expand my wardrobe!! What more can one ask for?! (Again, I'm playing the girl card. It excuses me for all sorts of insanity.) Irresistible.

5. Puppies.

A little black nose... a pair of moist little eyes... too big paws... floppy ears... heaven help me, I melt. All baby animals do it to me, really. Colts and kittens in particular. They're so dang cute. They're defenseless against me and I against them.

6. Blue Eyes

Deadly. Just deadly. Why are they so much prettier and sexier than brown eyes? Why are they so much deeper and more beautiful? Not fair.

7. Being Tickled

Yes, I'm wildly ticklish. It's really an ultimate, ultimate weakness. The only reason it doesn't go higher up on the list is because I am not completely powerless in it's throes. I often get violent when tickled and will probably kick you in the face, gut or where ever I think will get you to quit tickling me.

8. Diet Coke

It can talk me into anything.

9. That Which Is Forbidden

Come on. That just makes it a thousand times more appealing, right?

10. Pride

Okay. It's more like number one. It's also the most serious, though and it was going to kill the mood there at that top. So I just kept pushing it back... and back... and I almost didn't put it on the list at all. (Bad Anna! You lie!) But believe me, it is a weakness and a vice. A big one.


There you have it. My weaknesses. If you are reading this for insight in how to defeat me, I would ask you pick one of the more pleasant ones. Death by chocolate sounds very pleasant indeed. Funny how many of these things would make it on my favorite things list. Funny how much I love to loathe many of them.
 
Aren't people odd?

Monday, August 2, 2010

Coke and poly-the letter H-something-ides

Today I drank 7-UP. (Seven up? 7UP? You know what I'm talking about. Unless of course you are an alien who doesn't drink carbonated beverages. If so, try one. It's a pleasant surprise. And thanks for reading my blog.) Anyway, this was an odd and rather invigorating experience for me because I have an addiction to pop, but not 7-UP. An overwhelming passion for one and only one kind of pop. So wonderful, I forget all others exist.

While we are on the topic there is something I must say: it's called pop, people. Not soda. Not coke (unless of course it is a Coke. Coke is a brand, not a all inclusive word for carbonated sugar). Pop. It's a sound; it's a drink; it's the death of a balloon; it's a way of life.

And that's where I get to the point (however dull it may be) Today, I feel like raving about the greatest of all pop. Diet Coke.

I love Diet Coke (I have the t-shirt to prove it). It's a bad habit I picked up from my Mother. Maybe I can say it's in my genes? People are often disgusted by my deep obsession with this beverage. I am sorry, but I can't help it.

Well meaning friends try to cure me of my addiction through support and concern.

"Anna! That's disgusting! Just drink a regular coke!"

"You know that stuff is really bad for you, right?"

"You drink... diet?"

I could do some research... maybe one day I shall. But for some reason, everyone says diet is disgusting and whatever makes it taste so good also turns to formaldehyde in your liver. Charming, eh? But that substance that sweetens... (poly-the letter H-something-ides) are what makes it so much better.

It's like Coke... yes. And yes, Coke is good, but Diet coke is just plain better some how. Glorified Coke!

And it's not just any Diet drink. No. Pepsi is just as loathsome in diet as it is regular. I am left to believe that Coke was just made for those poly-the letter H-something-ides and it was love at first sip.

In order to describe to you the party this drink throws in my mouth and truly do it justice, I would have to sample great quantities and be a lot smarter, but the best way I can think of to describe it at this time is that it's more complex than just Coke... thinner and lighter somehow but deeper. There is a subtle undertone, a hint, a vague something that is lacking in Coke. Either it's those poly-you-know-what's or it's magic. It's pop, sweet, bubbly and painful when snorted, but somehow more.

In any case, when I have the choice of pop (savor that word everyone, POP) I always choose Diet Coke. Automatically. And so to consume another brand of pop was both strange and surprising. Strange because it rarely happens and surprising because I actually liked it. It was good. And yet it was not Diet Coke. My mind could not compute the two.

So I will drink Diet Coke. May it turn to whatever it turns to in my liver, I don't care. But when hard pressed... I can drink something else. It may not be magical, but it still pretty good.