Monday, August 2, 2010

Coke and poly-the letter H-something-ides

Today I drank 7-UP. (Seven up? 7UP? You know what I'm talking about. Unless of course you are an alien who doesn't drink carbonated beverages. If so, try one. It's a pleasant surprise. And thanks for reading my blog.) Anyway, this was an odd and rather invigorating experience for me because I have an addiction to pop, but not 7-UP. An overwhelming passion for one and only one kind of pop. So wonderful, I forget all others exist.

While we are on the topic there is something I must say: it's called pop, people. Not soda. Not coke (unless of course it is a Coke. Coke is a brand, not a all inclusive word for carbonated sugar). Pop. It's a sound; it's a drink; it's the death of a balloon; it's a way of life.

And that's where I get to the point (however dull it may be) Today, I feel like raving about the greatest of all pop. Diet Coke.

I love Diet Coke (I have the t-shirt to prove it). It's a bad habit I picked up from my Mother. Maybe I can say it's in my genes? People are often disgusted by my deep obsession with this beverage. I am sorry, but I can't help it.

Well meaning friends try to cure me of my addiction through support and concern.

"Anna! That's disgusting! Just drink a regular coke!"

"You know that stuff is really bad for you, right?"

"You drink... diet?"

I could do some research... maybe one day I shall. But for some reason, everyone says diet is disgusting and whatever makes it taste so good also turns to formaldehyde in your liver. Charming, eh? But that substance that sweetens... (poly-the letter H-something-ides) are what makes it so much better.

It's like Coke... yes. And yes, Coke is good, but Diet coke is just plain better some how. Glorified Coke!

And it's not just any Diet drink. No. Pepsi is just as loathsome in diet as it is regular. I am left to believe that Coke was just made for those poly-the letter H-something-ides and it was love at first sip.

In order to describe to you the party this drink throws in my mouth and truly do it justice, I would have to sample great quantities and be a lot smarter, but the best way I can think of to describe it at this time is that it's more complex than just Coke... thinner and lighter somehow but deeper. There is a subtle undertone, a hint, a vague something that is lacking in Coke. Either it's those poly-you-know-what's or it's magic. It's pop, sweet, bubbly and painful when snorted, but somehow more.

In any case, when I have the choice of pop (savor that word everyone, POP) I always choose Diet Coke. Automatically. And so to consume another brand of pop was both strange and surprising. Strange because it rarely happens and surprising because I actually liked it. It was good. And yet it was not Diet Coke. My mind could not compute the two.

So I will drink Diet Coke. May it turn to whatever it turns to in my liver, I don't care. But when hard pressed... I can drink something else. It may not be magical, but it still pretty good.


  1. "it's the death of a balloon; it's a way of life." YES! lol. :)
    Well written, loved it! - Andy

  2. I know it! It's polysaccharides! YES! I KNEW there had to be a good reason for doing all that biology!

    Awesome post, ditto VideoKRUE! Though I gotta say, I'm more of a Sprite person. :)