Balloons of Expectation

Please stop wanting, wishing and hoping for things that you know cannot and will not come true. Hope is such a fragile thing, yet it has the endurance to keep you holding your breath for days and days. I do not want the inevitable disappointment that comes with breathing in. I never start it. They always entice me with things too real to be resisted, and then back away. I take the small reality and turn it  into a colossal dream that no man could ever hope to support on his shoulders, no matter how broad. But I hold on to it, by the thin strings that I attach to all of these gigantic balloons of possibility. I am left with a hand full of strings and a sky clouded over with voluminous dreams and expectations that shroud my ability to enjoy the reality. Nothing can live up to my hopes. Nothing can measure up to my reality. Yes, have standards. Yes, have ideals. But don’t think you can have your cake and eat it too.

2012 New Years Resolutions

1. Drink More Water.

I’m pretty much convinced that I’m going through my life severely dehydrated. I also want to quit drinking so much pop, a habit college soft-drink foundations and the availability of free drinks at work has acquainted me with a little too well, so I figured choosing water more often would help me accomplish both.

2. Exercise 3 Times a Week

Fitness buffs will find this pathetic, but I have so much trouble finding the time to go to the gym! I do try to do some physical activity every day, (that really didn’t happen over break…) but dragging my butt to the gym seems to take so much effort. Next semester I have two mornings free and so if I go then and once during the weekend, I should be meeting my goal.

3. Eat Mindfully.

I need to quit mindless grazing and eating things I don’t even really want or need. Food for me is fuel, not an activity or a consolation prize. I feel better when I only eat what I need and I choose things I like and are good for me, as well as allowing myself to enjoy them.

4. Never Pick Another Zit.

I hate my acne. But ripping it apart isn’t going to make it go away, and actually makes it worse in a lot of cases. Thus, being kinder to my skin is one thing I plan to do in the upcoming year.

5. Be More Adventurous.

Born or made so, I am more reserved. I do not volunteer to take charge, I don’t go out of my comfort zone. I’m not one of those “up for anything” people and I doubt I ever will be, but it certainly won’t kill me to expand my horizons a little. It might even be very good for me.

6. Be More Charming.

My college’s motto is “Be More,” so I find these “be more” resolutions very fitting. If this one sounds weird to you, that’s alright, but I think charm is something of a dying quality. I love genuinely charming people. None of the cheesy manipulative type, mind you. Just the cheerful, bright, feminine, affable, genuine and mysterious charm that makes you interesting and fun to other people.

Your Heart is Like Mine

I think everyone must be a someone, even if they are no one at all.

I am existing. I am living. I am. And by that simple act of being, I am a someone. You are a someone, too. We are some bodies.

It does not matter what I look like, or were you came from, or the color of our skin.

We were born with these things and they define us, but that is not who we are.

It does not matter what you like, or what I have done, or the creed we profess.

No, these are the things that we choose, that we adopt and allow into ourselves, but that is not who we are.

We are someones, no matter what.

Yet we often feel like no one at all. In the presence of greater someones, even someones feel a bit like no ones. And in the presence of lesser no ones, even no ones feel they have become someones.Why is that?

You and I will always have existed. It happened, it is and it cannot be taken back.

You and I, we will always be someone.

 Everyone is a someone to someone. And no one is a no one to everyone.

If every man hates you, you are still someone.

If every man loves you, you are still someone.

Yet each is equal.

Tell me, why is it so difficult to accept each other?

Why do we get caught up in the things that don't matter and forget the things that do?

You and I, we are one of a kind.

Why do I forget that your heart is like mine?

Why do I feel I am so alone, when you are right next to me? Why do you feel the same way?

If I find a fault in you, I can often find it in myself. Why is it so much worse to me in you?

Tell me, why do I hurt you? Both intentionally and thoughtlessly? Have I so soon forgotten what is right before my eyes?

The face, the heart, the being of a someone.

Someone important, valuable, beautiful and worthy.

Useful to me or not, good to me or not. That does not matter.

Whether or not I can perceive it, every someone - everyone is valuable. Priceless.

You and I, we are someones.

Don't let me forget how important you are.