Love

If I have learned anything, it is that

Love is not what they say it is.

It is not what I have been told or shown and I have been lied to.

Whether it an outright deception or a case of omission, I cannot tell.

For the love that I have known has, in brief and rare instances, vaguely resembled that in movies, songs and fairytales,

And yet there is so much never seen, sung or written of

That no one ever warned me about.

I Carry Your Heart With Me

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

e.e. cummings

Inspiration II

Antonin Dvorak's Romance for Violin and Orchestra in F Minor.

It's no secret that the violin is my favorite instrument, and this piece is like a merry-go-round of violins. I can rather imagine them all conversing about something. Waxing poetic. Singing and listening for love songs. I adore the gentle movement from quiet melody to musical tempest. The swaying repetition of the solo violin's lonely, lovely theme. Romancing.

Thirteen plus minutes of magic. Your ears will thank you. I thank Antonin Dvorak.

Annie You Save Me - Graffiti6

I'm thinking I just need to start a weekly feature for my current song obsessions. Graffiti6 is a British alternative rock group and their sound reminds me a little bit of the Newsboys at their best.This one was shared by a friend with absolutely excellent taste in music. He sent it to me on Spotify and I hit star about twenty seconds in. Let me know if you fall in love as quickly.

Anymore

Perhaps there will be more time for this in a time where time does not exist.
I have no time to open closed doors, I will not go there anymore
It is too hard for me to see the people that we used to be
I loved you but you loved me not and love again, my heart cannot
Perhaps I knew you once before, but I do not know you anymore.

Not Very Often

Sometimes I think of you

When old mental maps lead me back down roads paved by your hands

Or a subtle memory makes me think of the person you used to be

Sometimes I think of you

But not very often

Sometimes I dream of you

On long black nights when dreams play tricks on tired hearts

Making them believe that past is present, and that the present is the vision

Sometimes I dream of you

But not very often

Sometimes I miss you

Sometimes I wish you were here because you were the familiar

Back when a time when normal existed in routines that were well known

If not loved

Sometimes I miss you

But not very often

Arms

In my humble opinion, this song is worth a listen. I am a minor league Christina Perri fan (I love Jar of Hearts and I think she has a pretty cool voice.)

I don't know what it is about it. I can just relate to it. Maybe you can too.
You put your arms around me and I'm home.

I Beg of You, Please Follow Me

If you ever have to go away, take me with you.

     So I will never be alone
     So we will never be apart
    To keep us together
    To keep me from falling to pieces
    Because otherwise I will be afraid
    Because otherwise I might forget
    Who I am and
    Who you are and
    Who we are together

If I ever have to go, come with me.
 
    So I won't miss you
    So you won't be without me
    To keep me company
    To keep each other strong
    Because otherwise, I may fail
    Because otherwise, we may fail and
   Who would that leave me?
   Who would that make you?
   Who could we, would we ever be without the other?

Dear Blog,

Dear Blog,

Sorry it's been a while. You know I still love you. It's just that my darn life is interfering again! Inconsiderate, I know. Between school, writers block and work, I confess that I have had little time to invest in you. I've sat here several times before trying to write something for you, but nothing comes. Know that it is not your fault, Blog, and I am sorry you have to suffer. Don't think this strain on our relationship doesn't pain me also.

I love you, Blog; do not doubt this. My love is weak, but true nevertheless. Perhaps we could come up with some tough love or "absence makes the heart grow fonder" analogy to make us both feel better? Then again, I have made enough excuses at this point. I ask not to excused, but forgiven. I admit my fault and abandon myself to your indulgent mercy.

I know this apology may seem rather dramatic. I felt it was the best defense against being unforgivably boring, and when one is trying to obtain forgiveness, it is best to avoid doing that which is unforgivable.

In sincere regret and repentant love,

Anna

Cross My Heart and Hope to Find

Okay. I wanna talk about a song called I Cross My Heart. It got me thinking overtime and even inspired the poem below.

The song is somewhat sweet, and yet there is something terribly sad about it.

The gist in Anna language and how the song, the poem and your life in general connects is as follows: The song tells a story about this couple who just so happen to into his old girlfriend. Basically, it's about him reassuring her that the ex is just that. An ex. Over. Nothing to him anymore. Sweet, right? Major "Aww..." moment for the ladies.

Not quite. It's cute, yet it speaks of an old romance, one that completely captivated the man... for a while. He thought it was love. Then seemly out of no where, what happens? Oops, turns out she wasn't the one and he was really waiting for Girl B all along.

Ouch. It's sad and horrifying to me. He thought it was love. Was he ignoring certain signs or incompatibilities? Deep down, did he know it wasn't meant to be? Or is it really just that risky? Like you could think you loved someone, but at any moment, if you made the wrong move, you could blow up what seemed like destiny?

On that train of thought, I wrote this poem:

So beautiful it makes me sad
Stirs a memory I never had
Threatening fragile hope I fear
Will shatter like a fallen tear
Sneering, asking who am I
To dare forget that love can die?

There's proof everywhere. Divorce, miserable relationships, people falling in and out of love practically at random.

Why?

Was this always the way it was, but social standards prevented the "take and throw away" nature of our current relationships? You "had" to stay with your spouse or be a literal outcast? Did making it common and "okay" cause it or simply unveil it? Seems like even a wedding band means almost nothing to us anymore.

Or is love in the fairy tales even real? I don't think people like me are capable of loving or being loved like that. I'm not perfect like the fairytale princes and princesses and I doubt I would be attracted to someone who was. I don't connect with people so easily, I don't trust people so quickly, I don't "follow my heart" blindly and expect to end up hitched to Superman. Or is that all supposed to change as soon as Prince Charming tap dances his way into my life?

If it's truly love... can it die? Or is the true love thing what makes or breaks a relationship?