I Carry Your Heart With Me

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

e.e. cummings

Eleven Eleven Tag

Here is my eleven eleven tag. Eleven facts about me and the answers to eleven questions.

1. I just bought a dress for under $5.00.

2. I am a mockingbird. I love to sing other people's songs and learn from the way they sing.

3. I have two birthmarks. One long oval on my leg that no one can figure out what is and one on my butt that hides and doesn't cause any comment or confusion.

4. I love clothes, fashion and all things related to style.

5. I have never been out of the United States and it kills me.

6. People tend to use the word "elegant" to describe me.

7. I once pulled a key out of an electric socket. It was a very shocking experience.

8. I can roll my r's, my tongue, my belly, and my eyes.

9.  I have a really hard time thinking of facts about myself.

10. I kinda sorta really wanna dye my hair black and pierce my nose in a very ungothic way.

1. How is living in an apartment vs. living in a dorm?
It is wonderful! There's so much more space and you feel less like a sardine in a can. I love all the windows. But my favorite part is having my own kitchen. Least favorite part is that it's on the fringes of campus and all uphill. Yay stairs! It's different, but it would be even more different if the apartment was off campus.


2. Icicles are falling all around the awning you are under but there is free cake across the street... what do you do?
You grab the top of a trash can, hold it over your head and race to the free goodness.

4.What is your dream career?
My dream career is to be a high school English teacher. It's why I'm here at an institution of higher learning. I have always been very career oriented and in my junior year of high school, I made an exhuastive list of every career that was even remotely interesting to me. This included everything from correctional officer, journalist, and psychologist. I pictured myself doing all of those things every day or years and years and years. And I decided the one that I could wake up in the morning for, the one I was most suited toward, the one that I could not get bored of, the one that I could really make a difference with, was teaching.

5. What grade did you get on your last essay?
I got an X. Which means I passed the pass or fail assignment. Boom.

6. Favorite kind of cake?
My favorite kind of cake is actually cake. Who needs to be picky about the details surrounding the estacy of your tastebuds? I do really like chocolate cake with thick chocolate frosting, though. So. So. Delicious.

7. Preferred bedtime?
I feel really awesome when I make it bed by midnight. Eleven, and I probably feel like I had something else to do, but I'm just too tired or done with the day to care.

8. Red or nude lipstick?
Here's the deal kids, red lipstick is hard for me to pull off and I swear to you, nude lipstick does not last. I have a red gloss that will stain and fade into a really nice, bright, complementary color that draws attention, but doesn't make you look like a clown. At least it lasts. A nude lip rubs off unevenly half the time. Worst thing ever- having the edges of your lips be pink and the middle be a flakey, wavering nude. Gross.

9. Heels, flats, or wedges?
This, of course depends on the occasion and the outfit. In order, my preference is flats, heels and then wedges. Flats someone look so sophisticated with everything. Heels make you feel sexy as hell. Wedges... wedges are like a cute, flirty, casual thing I'm just not that into.

10. If someone random told you their name, would you tell them yours?
Absolutely! If someone walked over to me in the airport, on the bus, on the street, in Walmart or any which where and said "Hi. I'm Steve." I would almost without exception reply, "Hello, Steve. I'm Anna."


11. Trip to Europe or Jamacia?
Europe. Always Europe. Jamacia would be heaps of fun though!

And I have no one to tag... awkward. But I thought I owed this to Meg of True Story.

I've Been Boring Lately

I realized about a week ago that I have been incredibly boring lately, and in the worst possible way.

I've been wearing boring, lifeless, unexceptional, commonplace and all together unworthy outfits.

This is something of a tragedy for someone who thinks of getting dressed in the morning as an act of self expression, creativity and identity.

It's partially because I'm busy.

It's partially because I'm self conscious. (Sometimes you get tired of being noticed.)

It's partially because it is just too cold to be cute.

But it's really not hard to throw on a pair of earrings.

Chic is in the little things.

So enough boring.

It's time to be fabulous again.

Inspiration II

Antonin Dvorak's Romance for Violin and Orchestra in F Minor.

It's no secret that the violin is my favorite instrument, and this piece is like a merry-go-round of violins. I can rather imagine them all conversing about something. Waxing poetic. Singing and listening for love songs. I adore the gentle movement from quiet melody to musical tempest. The swaying repetition of the solo violin's lonely, lovely theme. Romancing.

Thirteen plus minutes of magic. Your ears will thank you. I thank Antonin Dvorak.

I Am a Feminist

I didn’t think I was a feminist. I said so in a paper I wrote for my Freshman English class. I turned in a research proposal saying as much and my professor returned my paper having circled and underlined that particular sentence with a comment all in capital letters “WHAT?!?” Her reaction shocked me. How was not being a feminist any worse than not being a democrat? It was all a matter of personal and political inclination.

It wasn’t until I took a sociology course that I truly understood feminism. Feminism, in my mind, had always been portrayed by unfeminine woman and a far left political position. However, that is not feminism. It exists within feminism, to be sure, but those individuals do not encompass the whole idea. Feminism, in its essence is about equality. While some use feminism to campaign their right not to shave their armpits, original feminists used it to campaign for their right to political, social and economic equality. They wanted to vote, go to college, be doctors and lawyers, run for public office, take out loans, and own property. They wanted to be treated as equal to men.

When you’re treated as an equal, you are treated as having the same level of dignity, yet at least for me, the argument as to whether or not men and woman are the same is irrelevant. We have obvious biological differences. However, what role these biological differences actually play in our behavior has been far too long connected to socially constructed gender roles. Having a vagina does not make me more capable of cooking, cleaning and nurturing than someone with a penis.

Gender roles make the world go round and we learn them from a very young age. We learn that girls  and boys wear different things. That boys and girls play with different toys. That they are expected to be gifted at and interested in different things. Yet it is not a matter of biology that I wear skirts and make up. Gender roles and gender are not the same, yet they are so often tangled up in the conversation of feminism, which as you will recall is about equality. Can I have the same dignity as a man and wear mascara? Absolutely.

In short, I am a feminist because I think that woman are equal in dignity and rights to men. But I am also a feminist because I think that woman should not make about 75 cents for every male dollar. Because I think it should not be a social norm for woman to have work the second shift. Because the average male says it would  “bother him” to have a female boss. Because when a woman can’t run for public office without her gender being considered her most defining characteristic. Because woman are subject to a level of objectification in the media that men are not. Because I don’t think a woman should have to choose between her career and having a family. Our society places woman at a disadvantage, and I don’t think that’s okay. So to set the record straight: female is a matter of biology. Feminine is a set of culturally defined characteristics. Feminist is a political position. I happen to be all three.

*A lot of ideas are vauguely plagarized in this reflection. I caution readers to take wording and exact numbers with a grain of salt. If you have any questions about my sources or reasoning, I would be happy to do my best to dig up a credible source that reflects my claims.

Inspiration I

Picasso's Nude Descending a Staircase. 

How do you seperate her from the staircase? Why do I assume that she is a she? Would we assume this was a nude if we were not told? Do we see a human being? If not, what do we see?

I see a wooden woman, a buck naked wooden woman. I see her gliding descent in fast forward and rewind. I see her as apart from the staircase, the blur before clarity. The most focused part of the painting is the top of the stairs and she is walking away from it.

The Top 5 Hottest Male Celebrities with Gray Hair

As I've often said, men are like cheese. They get better with age. Please enjoy the following photos of and commentary upon these five men who I feel are gorgeous with gray hair.

1. Richard Gere

He had to be number one because there is simply no other male celeb who has aged this well and made looking mature so freaking sexy. Favorite thing about him? His fabulous hair, of course.

2. Anderson Cooper

Piercing blue eyes, suave and ageless sophistication endear me to Anderson Cooper and makes some small part of me wish he weren't gay. Favorite thing: those eyes.

3. Pierce Brosnan

Why hello there, gorgeous. Next on our lovely list is Pierce Brosnan, who I find irresistible, young or old. My favorite thing about this handsome gray haired hunk is his voice. So sexy.

4. Patrick Dempsey

Patrick Dempsey is a fairly new addition to the ranks of grey haired hotties, but he fits right in. A rugged mans man and humorous actor, I find him charming eye candy. Favorite thing: his smile.

5. George Clooney

And last, but certainly not least, is the handsome George Clooney. I would say he's definitely gotten better with age. My favorite thing about this gray haired icon would have to be his style... so timeless. 

There you have it, ladies (I doubt it any gentleman made it this far) five studs with silver strands and heaps of sex appeal.  



Annie You Save Me - Graffiti6

I'm thinking I just need to start a weekly feature for my current song obsessions. Graffiti6 is a British alternative rock group and their sound reminds me a little bit of the Newsboys at their best.This one was shared by a friend with absolutely excellent taste in music. He sent it to me on Spotify and I hit star about twenty seconds in. Let me know if you fall in love as quickly.

Things I Learned My First Year of College

Here we are, the Saturday before finals week and I thought I'd take the time I should be studying to share with you some of the awesome things I've learned this year. While these are really only a few of the insights the experience has afforded me, as this adventure draws to a close, I thought I'd share with you a list of the  top ten lessons I learn in my first year of college.

1. Anything can and will mold.
Except for like Twinkies. Really. Coffee molds! Who knew, right?

2. All you need are socks.
And until you need socks or other unmentionables, you won't do laundry. Not for your lucky jeans. Not for your sheets. Not even for the only shirt that doesn't make you look fat. Until you need socks or undies, you will make do.

3. Make work fun.
Working in college kind of sucks, but only if you let it. I work the worst job imaginable - Campus Dining. But about 99% of the time I love my job because I make it fun. I talk to my co-workers and our customers and I will be the one laughing it off when something little goes wrong, working the fastest to get through the orders of the entire baseball team with a smile or following the stupid rules about cleaning/cooking/breathing cheerfully. I will be the one making the jokes, poking fun and having a great time. Because if I have to be here four days a week, it had better be fun.

4. What the hell is sociology?
Sociology, friends is the study of development, structure and functioning of human society and its institutions and it is awesome. I never knew what it was and probably would have gone my whole life without really knowing so if my first year experience course had not been with a sociology professor whose influence had a profound affect on me. Now I'm considering a minor in sociology and have a whole new perspective with which to view the world around me.
5. Boys will be boys.
You thought they'd be different then they were in high school, but no. They're just the same.

6. Studying is best done in solitude.
Group study is a great idea! We can all catch up with homework and each other at the same time! HA! Not.

7. Stress less.
Money, commitments, due dates, uncertainty, life... it's all so terrifying. Sometimes it all catches up with me and I have a mini panic attack. But then Bob Marley comes to the rescue and I play Three Little Birds and I believe everything he sings to me. Every little thing is going to be alright and it's nothing a few deep breaths and a good night's sleep can't fix.

8. Balance is key.
Balance your workload, balance your diet, balance you budget, balance your backpack, balance your friends, balance your life. Moderation is the golden rule.

9. Do what you want to when you want to.
If you wanna go, even if you have to go alone, then you should go. If you want to stay even through everyone else is going, then by all means stay. Be your own person for goodness sake. If you can't count on yourself to look after you, who will?

10. Communicate, Articulate, Elaborate.
In class, in relationships, in writing, in thought, in word - say what's in your head and heart, say it well and be prepared to expound on your ideas.

First Ever Angsty Political Rant

I'm shocked this is the first ever angsty political rant, because honestly, I could have chosen better issues. Yet somehow I've bottled it all up inside in the past and at least protected this blog from my political opinions even when my friends and family weren't so lucky. But here we go.

I was shocked Obama's "coming out" in support of gay marriage had such a positive response, I think it seems fairly obvious that after Biden's statement, the Obama administration said "Oh snap, Obama. He's making you look bad. If you want to live here for the next four years, you'd better get your act together and show some semblance of uniformity within this organization and put yourself in stark contrast with Romney." That's my take on it any way. If anyone else were to change their opinion on an issue like that, they would be wishy-washy and inconsistent. But when Obama suddenly comes to an epiphany as a result of careful reflection and study that took him several years and coincidentally concluded today, it's very mature and reasonable.

Can you say double standard?

I honestly don't really care if Obama supports gay marriage. The "marriage equality" issue is very hot right now, and I don't see resolution for either side as being a feasible reality, at least not in the short term. In other words, the law should not be dependent on if one man supports or doesn't support something. According to a recent Gallup poll, half of American support gay marriage. In a true democracy with one person, one vote, this should be put up to vote and according to Gallup, the majority of us want equal rights for homosexual couples. Yet America is not a true democracy. Our values may well be changing, yet it will take time for our norms to reflect that.

So why am I so incensed? I don't think you should be able to play the game that poorly and be handed a "Champion of the Oppressed" trophy as a reward. This might turn things around for the Obama in the eyes of the public, but I'm not impressed.


Read the article and see the video that prompted this rant here!!
 http://gma.yahoo.com/obama-announces-his-support-for-same-sex-marriage.html

What Guys and Girls On My Campus Are Wearing - Spring 2012!

1. Shortie Short Shorts
Yeah, we love being young and we love showing off our young and artificially tanned legs! CAN'T BE TAMED! I have difficult feelings about shorts (particularly athletic shorts...yuck.) In my humble opinion, short shorts are far kinder and better proportionally than Bermudas, or even shorts that hit mid-thigh, but if I, a woman of 5 feet and 10 inches, wear a pair of very short shorts, the visual is this never ending strip of white leg. So, to be chopped off and accentuated where you need it least or be a never ending pair of legs? I just can't decide.

2. Floral Prints
Large floral prints are huge this spring, and for one my campus decided to get with it and hop on this fabulous trend. Well done, ladies! I still like little floral prints, as they are more feminine, but I like large prints better than I thought I would. Some are still gaudier than I prefer, but all in all a lovely spring trend.

3. Color
Yet another crazy awesome trend that's being embraced is color and lots of it! Not a lot of neon or color blocking, but people have been making some bolder color choices to liven up their t-shirts and jeans. I wish I was seeing more in the way of colored denim, but it's the Midwest and we're slow to catch on.

4. Dresses and Skirts
It's warm. Wear a dress! You have a speech today. Wear a dress! It's laundry day and you have nothing left! Wear a dress, wear a dress, wear a dress! Not to stereotype, but Catholic girls love their little dresses-complete with cardigan to cover those shoulders! I'm not a huge fan of the floral print dress with black leggings and a cardigan, but I can understand trying to make your wardrobe stretch as far between seasons as possible.

5. Blazers
I need to get one. Like ten minutes ago. Like ten months ago. I love all the colored and cute blazers that are cropping up over campus. I seriously hope the blazer will become more of a staple in a young woman's wardrobe, because you have no idea what it can do for you. A well cut blazer will accentuate your waist, broaden your shoulders and draw attention to your neck and face. What more can a girl ask for?

6. TOMS
I have serious shoe jealously. Love, want and need a pair. Painting and otherwise embellishing them is a big thing here. One of my favorite pairs of the one's I've seen is navy and the owner painted branches and leaves all over them. Super cute.

7. Twists
Words cannot adequately express how much I adore this hair trend. The braid was huge last season, and it was nice, but a little exclusive for those of us with short hair or who can't braid to save our lives. The twist is all-inclusive, super easy and looks absolutely amazing! It's also the best way since the Snooki-Poof to hide those stupid bangs you're growing out.

8. Sandals
Hmm. I'm a flats girl, but I'm a little disappointed by how many people are wearing last season's sandals. Seriously? This season has so much more to offer your, from wedges to boat shoes to oxfords, I'm hoping people will start picking up on shoe trends other then 'the return of the jellies'. *Shudder*

9. Flowing Tops
YES! Finally! I am so sick of skin tight tops. Even when this trend dies down, I'm never going back to my drawer of tiny t-shirts that are only flattering on people with rock hard abs and no boobs.

10. Bold Nail Color
Pink! Green! Yellow! Blue! Great and interesting nail color, nail art and even the occasional decal. Right now, my nails are a neon pink I stole from my roommate. It doesn't match my outfit at all, but I love them so I don't care.

Unholy Sonnet 4

Amazing to believe that nothingness
Surrounds us with delight and lets us be,
And that the meekness of nonentity,
Despite the friction of the world of sense,
Despite the leveling of violence,
Is all that matters. All the energy
We force into the matchhead and the city

Explodes inside a loving emptiness.
Not Dante’s rings, not the Zen zero’s mouth,
Out of which comes and into which light goes,
This God recedes from every metaphor,
Turns the hardest data into untruth,
And fills all blanks with blankness. This love shows
Itself in absence, which the stars adore.

- Mark Jarman

Credit

All Alone - Fun.

Okay. So I have another serious song obsession. Like, I want to put this song in an IV and have it pumping constantly into my veins. Apparently indie pop/rock is totally my thing. Who'd have thunk?

Balloons of Expectation

Please stop wanting, wishing and hoping for things that you know cannot and will not come true. Hope is such a fragile thing, yet it has the endurance to keep you holding your breath for days and days. I do not want the inevitable disappointment that comes with breathing in. I never start it. They always entice me with things too real to be resisted, and then back away. I take the small reality and turn it  into a colossal dream that no man could ever hope to support on his shoulders, no matter how broad. But I hold on to it, by the thin strings that I attach to all of these gigantic balloons of possibility. I am left with a hand full of strings and a sky clouded over with voluminous dreams and expectations that shroud my ability to enjoy the reality. Nothing can live up to my hopes. Nothing can measure up to my reality. Yes, have standards. Yes, have ideals. But don’t think you can have your cake and eat it too.

Cough Syrup - Young the Giant

I don't like rock. At least I didn't think I did. But having been forcibly introduced to "Indie-Rock," I'm surprised to find that I actually do like it.

Pay attention to the lyrics of this one...  Life's too short to even care at all...

Colds.

You know the way you feel before a cold?

Tired...
           Achey...
                       Sleepy...
                                      Foggy...
                                                    Fading....

When you finally accept that maybe, just maybe, you're getting sick?

Sore...
          Stiff...
                    Gross...
                                  Miserable...
                                                    Cold...


Maybe its just allergies? (Oh, I hope so...)

Maybe I'm just tired? (Well, yeah, duh. But that's not all.)

Nope.

I'm sick.              

Style Vow I

I, Anna, being of sound mind and body, solemnly swear never to inflict bangs upon myself again. It has been shown repeatedly in the epochs of time that I look quite dreadful with bangs, with evidence given in a vast quantity of mirrors and an impressive collection of childhood photographs. I vow to resist the urges of the times and trends, which shall adopt bangs as "cute" and "trendy", and shall promise me that I too can wear them. I vow to remember in times of temptation or tribulation, how what can be snipped into being in a minute will later take many difficult months of annoyance and Snookie-like poofs to grow out, pulling our some of the aforementioned childhood photographs if necessary to strengthen my resolve. With my forehead as my witness, I make this promise for the greater good of my hair, general appearance and sanity for as long as I shall live.

Amen.

Reasons I Hate This Time of Year

1. Holidays. Why are they all in the winter? Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentines Day, St. Patrick's Day... it's just too much. I've expressed my rather dire feelings about holidays in general before, so it should come as no surprise that I feel clusters of them are uncalled for. Lucky, the worst is already behind us.

2. Forms. FAFSA, W-4, W-2, Taxes... federal shenanaganizing. Askeroscarooscarfug. (Congrats if you came up with some way to pronounce that.)

3. Snow. *sighs* Alright. I confess. I hate snow, but not really. It's complicated. Just when I think it's bearable and maybe even kind of pretty, it proves me wrong and gets in my boot or tries to trip me up or just generally interferes with the delicate task of living my life.

4. Darkness. I like the dark. It's fine. But the long dark mornings and nights make me want to sleep in and go to bed earlier, and me wanting to go to bed at 5 P.M. is rather annoying and counter-productive.

5. Cold. I loathe being cold. More than being hot, more than being sweaty, more than losing a toe to a shark. Okay, maybe not the last one. Being cold makes me feel like I'm about 100 years old and lacking the appropriate medication for my various conditions that are causing me this aching pain. Dire? Yes. They aren't your joints, so deal with it. (For the record, if they are your joints too, I express my sincerest sympathy and the offer to get together to have a warm beverage and discuss our unnamed condition.)

I know I complain rather a lot. I guess it's because it's the one thing I can do about the things I can do nothing about. And for some reason, complaining about things in a vaguely amusing thing somehow helps me to feel better about them. Go figure, eh?

Pawned Off

It’s like a giant’s game of chess

Where pawns go out to play

And rooks meet knights of many types

On squares of black and white

Snow, Snow, Snow