Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Bob and I Are Out of Luck

My name is probably inscribed in a massively large and appropriately dusty book entitled: The Official List of Boring Names. I'm thinking Anna probably lies somewhere before "Jane" and right after "Bob". But at least Jane can call herself Enaj. Bob and I are are out of luck.

Aside from the fact that I have been cheated out of that name made up of an unpronounceable jumble of constants by spelling it backwards, Anna is incredibly difficult to nickname (and I love nicknames). Yet even Bob has some consolation, because he has a charming full name (or at least he should. Heaven forbid someone just put "Bob" on a birth certificate. It's Robert.)  which can be nicknamed in a variety of ways. He could always shake things up and be Rob, Robbie, Bobby, Rob-Bob, or even Bobert for a day. Ann? Ana? Different names entirely.

It also doesn't really rhyme with anything good, unlike Jane which rhymes with Spain, plain, pain, gain and grain, and Bob rhymes with cob, rob, lob, sob, knob and mob. After a while you get sick of being called Anna Banana. I don't even like bananas. (No one should, but that's obviously just my opinion since those loathsome yellow things with a nauseating taste and texture continue to find their way unto a shelf wherever fruit is sold.)

Yet in spite of it's boringness (yes, that's a word), it could be worse.

No one ever has to have me spell it, which would happen if my name was Kathryn. Or Catherine. Or Katherine.

No one says "Wow... that's a very unusual name." like they would if my name was Mercedes.

When I have to write my name on a tiny little space, I don't have to squish the letters like I would if my name was Victoria.

So even in it's dull state, Anna is not so bad a name. Not the best, but at least it's not in a book entitled "Who Would Name Their Kid That? The Book of Strange and Embarrassing Names."

1 comment:

  1. My name is common and people don't know how to spell it! Ah well. Ya can't change your name (technically you can, but whatever)

    Oh and if I was Robert, I would call myself Bobert. bahahah.