The Seasons of the Slob

Today I cleaned out my room- big time. We were moving furniture, thus making it an excellent opportunity to do so. (Okay, so truthfully I pretty much had to clean it in order to dig out the furniture, but what's really more important here? Cause or effect?) When I say "cleaning" I mean dust bunnies that have been living under my bed for months (if not years) were kicked out of house and home. Like you can finally see the floor, I found all the stuff I ever lost and now I'm disoriented because things are actually sort of put away. Yeah. That kind of cleaning.

That kind of cleaning is both fulfilling and draining (though I have found most fulfilling things to be). I wonder why I put it off so long yet at the same time I remember exactly why I did. I wish I had just put things where they belong in the first place instead of throwing them every which way. I contemplate pitching everything I own into the nearest dumpster and running away to be a hermit in the Alps with only the clothes on my back. And after going through all of this, after riding such an emotional roller coaster... now I only have a big pile of stuff left to organize instead of a mountain.

In case you were wondering, I don't clean my room all the often. At all. In fact my Mother takes my temperature whenever she finds me doing so and my siblings look out the window to check for flying pigs.

I'm not exactly a... slob. *wince* Okay, I am. But I don't mean to be. I like to have things clean. I like for things to be neat. Reality just doesn't always line up with that.

Why don't I clean my room, you ask? Lots of reasons.

Reason Number 1: I have a motto: Why do today what you can plan to do tomorrow? A.K.A Cleaning Procrastination Disorder. CPD. Or if your prefer, just plain old Procrastination. So I put it off and let it pile up and the dust bunnies keep breeding... and you get the idea.

Reason Number 2: I have a problem: Half way though the project I get bored/distracted/fall asleep. A.K.A Chronic Laziness Syndrome. CLS. Laziness. I often lack the follow through to just get it done. (Which is why my desk still looks like a disaster. I did do some cleaning...lots of cleaning...)

Reason Number 3: I have a teddy bear: I wake up in the morning, look around and think "Oh. Wow. Didn't look so bad in the dark last night, but I should really clean this place." And then I move on and completely forget about it until that night, just before I'm going to bed when I think "Oh shoot. I'll do it first thing tomorrow". At which point the cycle repeats itself and so on and so on. . A.K.A Forgetting the important things sort of kind of on purpose. Which would be something like FITSKP but that doesn't really abbreviate anything, but it confuses a lot of things. Yeah, I can't really blame the teddy bear, but it sounded good in my head.

So you see, the real reason I don't clean my room is because of my deep rooted psychological challenges that prevent me from functioning. (Hopefully you are buying that, because I'm not. Didn't think so...)

So after all that work you would think I would work harder to keep it clean, right?

Nah. I give it a couple days. Tops.

And in a few months I'll have to dig everything out again and repeat the whole process. Think of it as a cycle, like the seasons. Clean = Spring, Less Clean = Summer, Really Messy = Fall and Disaster Area = Winter. See? Natural, necessary and sustaining. Or you could just think of it as the result of forgetful and procrastinated laziness. I prefer the seasons thing myself, but whatever works for you.